My “Humble Confidence” Project with Vantage Group

I've been developing software professionally since August 1989. I've researched, struggled with, and "pragmatically mastered" many languages, libraries, platforms, and operating systems over that time - successfully enough that I've been entrusted with increasing responsibilities and salaries by my employers. But I've always struggled with talking about and sharing my informed opinions, insights, and experiences in any "official" setting, typically meetings.

In any casual or informal setting, I've not had this problem. But as soon as the situation turns serious, I freeze or stumble and generally feel like I can't get my thoughts and ideas out in cohesive, cogent words. Many years ago, at my second job, I was part of a small team that demoed the latest version of our ink formulation QA app to a group of 3 press operators. When my turn came to show the feature I'd developed, I froze completely. I could not make a single sound come out of my mouth. My co-worker immediately saw my predicament and saved the day by giving my demo. It was 100% embarrassing.

Thankfully, I've made progress since then. But I never quite got comfortable with my discomfort, projecting confidence when I shared my thoughts. I mainly compensated by being quiet and keeping short the words I did say. But I got to a level and place in my career where this approach was not an option anymore.

My wife works at Atomic Object. Last year, they contracted with Darrell Crawford at The Vantage Group for a communication coaching workshop. After her experience there, she thought he might be able to work with me on this issue.

So I worked with Darrell for roughly six months, starting in Aug 2020. I began my coaching by taking a pretty thorough assessment test. These results gave Darrell some quick insights into my character, strengths, weaknesses, and he developed a baseline for his tailored coaching. We met (online - these were COVID-19 times, after all) for an hour roughly every two weeks. We'd start by reviewing my homework assignment from the previous session, discuss how I had put his suggested conversational and thought frameworks to use, any upcoming challenges for me, and what to work on for the next session.

Some of those homework assignments were to develop my personal "elevator pitch" and brand, revise and update my LinkedIn profile, create an agenda and outline for an upcoming meeting I ran, and develop personal goals for my work in 2021.

Throughout our sessions, Darrell invested himself in my progress and success. I came to trust his feedback on areas where I'd improved and where I still needed encouragement. Over six months, I'd progressed from feeling low-level nerves before and during meetings (even online) to being comfortable sharing my thoughts and opinions while steering clear of arrogance. It's fear of that second part that made me overcompensate by being quiet for far too much of my career.

Oh, and that "Humble Confidence" moniker I gave to my professional development project? I borrowed it from posts made over the years on the "You Need A Budget" blog that contained the phrase "We're hiring a Humbly Confident developer...". That term resonated with me and always made me think, "that's how I aspire to be." Thanks to my work with Darrell at Vantage Group, I have some tools to make some serious progress in that direction. Or, as I tend to put it: "better than I was, not as good as I will be."